there's someone in my head but it's not me

Wednesday, 01/06/16, 6:00pm, 7:37pm, 9:26pm

I am angry. At the world, at Nasser's job, at myself, at the kids, at our HOA, at this stupid dressing I made for dinner that was awful, at the cat for puking, at myself, at my messy house, at myself. I think I've been grumpy all day. But it's coming out again this evening. Nasser and I had a mini-fight this morning about how unfair it is that Qualcomm is making him go to San Diego two weeks in a row, starting next week. And how Nasser should have pushed back on this. And how he doesn't push back on anything in his job. Oh and then the HOA meeting is at our house tomorrow night. Which I did not realize. Nasser is sure he told me early December and it says so on the event on Google calendar, but I didn't actually put it together until Nasser was reminding me this morning. So that just sucks. And I was angry this morning about the trips and the HOA meeting, and I blew up at Nasser about it. None of it is actually his fault though. But that doesn't change my viewpoint when I'm in a rage.

So this morning was not so good and I think I haven't really recovered all day. TK and I have been butting heads a lot today, and when RG got off the bus he asked if a friend could come over this afternoon. I was in no mood for it so I kinda made a lame excuse to RG.

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Well, now it's an hour and half later and things are actually better. Nasser and I talked over dinner about the HOA meeting and we are conquering and dividing tonight. He is putting the kids to bed while I clean. And blog apparently. Just for a little bit!

I think I spent the day in a mood eating frenzy. It wasn't all bad. But there was a lot. Right now I'm feeling quite full, yet still satisfied. I'm choosing to not feel guilty about it. Besides I'm thinking it's related to "that time of the month" coming up (yeah, sorry tmi) which is great at affecting my mood and my appetite.

Back to cleaning.

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Another two hours later, and things are better but. I'm not looking forward to Nasser's upcoming work trips. And I still have a bit of cleaning to do tomorrow during the day. To feel more comfortable. Oh and I'll probably do something stupid like bake cookies or make homemade fudge tomorrow. For the stupid HOA meeting. Because Nasser is on the board. And because there's that part of me that likes to host and serve and make.

well

... to all a good night!