Nasser went back to work today. And it's just me and the boys. I didn't start off the day well with not getting enough sleep. Nasser and I were up late anyway, but then my body proceeded to go into an incredible insomnia. Maybe because I've been anxious. Maybe because I may have accidentally had caffeinated tea in the evening. Whatever the reason, I was wide awake.
Maybe I needed a several hour block of time to peruse articles on Google+, my only allowance of social media (are blogs considered social media as well??). Maybe I needed to look up that recipe on pumpkin oatmeal for the morning (which I did make this morning after not getting enough sleep! Seriously I have a disease) or maybe I really needed to find a kitchen chalkboard to hang over the back of the basement door (wouldn't that be adorable? sigh. again, disease). Or maybe I needed to open 10 articles on my phone to read later on, all with potential for future blog posts.
This day has been going by in a blur. The boys had some video game time (still weaning them from the holiday break obsession), but they've also been playing together really nicely and laughing hysterically throughout the process. I think I get how moms/housewives of years past accomplished so much during the day. They simply allowed their children to use their imaginations to play together, allowed them to use foam pool noodles as light sabers, allowed them to resolve most of their own disagreements (I step in when needed), allowed them to have stuffed animal fights and then made them clean up their own mess. So far today I've sent several important emails for planning a trip in May, I've ran some laundry, emptied the dishwasher, refilled it, and fed the boys lunch. I also managed to make some vegetable soup (really just cabbage and carrot, with a chicken and tomato broth). My sleep deprivation came into play here though, because I managed to accidentally grate the cabbage in the food processor when I was planning to shred it. Sigh. Hopefully at least Nasser and I will eat it.
I took some me time to watch an episode of my show on Netflix.
I'm even thinking about making fudge with the kids later.
I'm ridiculous sometimes. I'm really getting big on homemade. Certainly not everything we do is "from scratch", we have a large box of bisquick in the pantry that we used to make pancakes yesterday, I had no regular oats in the house this morning when I was making my ridiculous pumpkin oatmeal so I stole the plain packets from the box of instant oatmeal. We usually do cereal in the mornings and we have several lunchables in the fridge.
But.
I make our own wrapping paper for birthday presents out of old art that the boys made, I do homemade vanilla with brandy and vanilla beans rather than buying vanilla extract, I like to bake, I want to learn to make fudge, I make soup out of a head of cabbage, a bag of carrots, chicken broth, and tomato paste. I don't send thank you notes very often because I always want to make homemade cards with the kids writing them.
I'm working on lowering some of these "homemade" expectations I have for myself (it's silly because I don't have those expectations of other people), but I also don't think it's all bad. I like that part of my personality to some extent. When I find a balance it's healthy. Because really, I also find baking therapeutic. I love having my homemade vanilla in my cupboard and to me, it smells 10 times better than extract because I made it. And I love finding a use out of old daycare art that reuses it. Makes something else beautifully when several sheets come together. :)
So today, I suppose I'm an old-fashioned mama/housewife. I hate the term "housewife" usually; it feels antiquated and I prefer "stay-at-home mom" because that's what's in these days and it puts my top job first. But I guess today I did more for the house. Maybe I'll start calling myself a homemaker.
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