I've mostly been better since this morning. At various points I've felt depressed, mostly because of the head cold, but in general, it's been ok. I've enjoyed some quality friend contact today, one over text and one over email which restored my faith in friendship. We ordered Chinese food for dinner, which was certainly not good for my weight loss challenge, but it was what I needed. RG's fortune made for an interesting conversation point.
He didn't know what it meant of course. So I took a stab at explaining it first, but it was interesting to see how different a mindset Nasser had about it. I took the meaning of "it gets worse before it gets better" whereas Nasser took it as "it gets better, even after the darkest troubles". Totally glass half empty versus half full. It made me stop though. I used to consider myself a glass half full kinda gal, but apparently that has changed since my depression. It was good to recognize the mindset I had when explaining the fortune to RG, and try to consciously change it, by taking on the new meaning Nasser provided.
Maybe that can work in my life. Some of the mindfulness exercises are just that, working to put the positive spin on things in life, rather than the negative. And it's not like I always fail to do that, and that's why I'm depressed. Sometimes my illness works to prevent me from doing that. But it's important to remind myself that every time I recover from being depressed, I fight my illness that much more, I make it easier to recover next time, and I make it easier for my brain to take the positive spin on things.
When people say you can control the way you feel about things, that often makes me feel defensive. Like hey, there are many times where I can't control the way I feel about things, and I fail, and I get depressed. It helps to view it in the regard that, wait, I do it when I recover though. And "getting depressed" isn't a failure. Maybe I just need to look at it as a success when I do recover.
Hopefully some of this rambling makes sense. All this to say just what my post title says. (You must say it in your head to the Monty Python tune of course...)
Shorter post yet again. That's my style these days. But I'm leaving you today, dear blog, with a contented thank you for helping me today. I recovered enough this morning to have a good day, despite the head cold. And as we've just discovered, that recovery gives me a success for today. Awesome.
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