Our house is a mess. And for once it's not stressing me out. Right now, it's a happy house, a joyful house. Nasser is reading the 3rd Harry Potter book aloud to the boys. And although I should be gathering up dishes from the table, emptying the dishwasher, refilling it, cleaning the house, whatever, I am choosing instead to sit and blog. I'm looking around at my house, and today, the mess made me smile. Today's blog is being used to "become present".
I use the term "becoming present" to reference a coping mechanism I learned with my first good therapist, Celia. (She was fantastic, we clicked, she understood me, but she left our insurance just before TK was born. Thankfully I've had two wonderful therapists since then including the current one.) I've discussed this technique with several therapists and friends under various methods of achieving basically the same thing. It's tied in strongly with mindfulness. When I become present, I notice my surroundings. I empty my mind of everything else and just think about what's happening around me in the present. Today I'm sitting at the our counter height kitchen table, with my feet resting below on the chair. Here's my view:
Later on, at 6:18pm, I finally get a chance to go back to my blog. This is often the case, that I finish my blog over several sittings. It's nice to get back to my blog and not really feel too differently about the world. It can change that quickly, but I'm glad that today, I'm still feeling content with my life.
Back to "becoming present". Sometimes I simply take notice of my surroundings, sometimes I pop a mint in my mouth and notice all the sensations around the taste and feel and smell of the mint. The technique, as I understand it, works to empty your mind of all the worry and anxiety; you focus on something else, something impartial, something not judgmental, something not emotional. I like the metaphorical aspect of "becoming present" and how that helps to stop the worry around past or future events.
I've tried "becoming present" many times with success, some without, or at least not right away. Today, I am practicing "becoming present" or mindfulness (especially good to notice or be mindful while you eat; good practice, it makes you appreciate your food more, and it's been shown to be healthier). By practicing it when I'm fine, it is like muscle memory for when I'm not fine. I don't practice "as often as I should", or maybe it's better to say "as often as I'd like to", but I think the blogging is helping me with that.
There's another technique from therapy that I've been thinking about a lot lately. With the therapist Celia, again, I created a "safe place" for myself in my mind. It's a place where I feel totally and completely safe and peaceful and content. It's a wonderful place and I have envisioned the whole thing. I'm not going to tell you here what my safe place is (that would kinda make it less "safe" in my mind), but snow is involved. And specifically snowflakes. Snow falling to the ground is a bit of imagery that is extremely calming to me. Of course it goes along with all the things I like about snow, cozy sweatshirts, hot chocolate and tea, warm cookies, the holidays, snow sports like skiing and snowshoeing and sledding, soft socks, hot tubs, warm baths, being snuggled up in the blankets. :) Hah, yeah. Apparently I love winter.
For many years I've kinda loved the idea of getting a tattoo. They fascinate me a little, and I've done henna a few times before, but I've never really known what I would want to get permanently. Well, it may have to be a snowflake or two, folks. Yeah I'm weird like that.
I'm not sure I'm ready for a tattoo. For now, I've really enjoyed drawing them on myself. I've been using a fine tip pen, sometimes sharpies. So far I've loved drawing them on my hand (I've been told "Wow, first tattoo, and you're thinking of going with your hand?" to which I answered "Haha, yup!"), and I plan to start drawing them on my feet and collarbone as well. But I want it to be a place where I can see it and use it as a reminder to myself of my safe place. As I draw them more and more, I'm going to use this to see what it is I really like; maybe I'll start buying henna eventually. I'm going through this process slowly, no spur of the moment tattoos for me, people, don't worry. And I still very well may decide not to do it. Here are a few fun renditions though. :)
I didn't intend to make this blog post about coping mechanisms, but they've also been on my mind lately when I've been talking to a friend about my blog. And I've been wanting to share my ideas about tattoos. Hah. That's probably the real reason.
I like today. We got some good shopping time in today while my parents watched our kids for several hours. It was really good to do the Target and Costco trips today before they get crazy crowded. And I made cabbage soup (for that whole dieting thing that's going on), and baked a pumpkin (ugh, I still have the scoop it all out and puree it), and got in some time on the stationary bike. Successful days (ones that have some clear and obvious successes) make for good days. Yay.
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