Today's post is my 100th post. In about 7.5 months. I can't figure out if that feels like a lot or a little.
I told Nasser I want to make a mini cake for my 100th post. :) Somehow diet friendly.
I feel good about how far I've come in my blog.
The blog is a comfortable place for me to return to day in and day out. There aren't many days where I don't look at my blog or think about it in some way. Whether it's to think, ooo, I should write a blog post about what just happened, or if it's in a depressive episode, using my writing therapy to crawl back out of the hole.
I say crawl, not climb, (although I certainly picture these holes as having gravity) because in those moments, there is nothing that feels strong or heroic. Sometimes I look at my blog to reread old posts, and sometimes a friend sends me a note about my blog.
So far I've felt really good about sharing my blog more widely. I feel so honest and open. I know that this blog holds some of my deepest pains and yet I've chosen to share it with all who would read it. Brené Brown, writes about a "vulnerability hangover". I don't think I've quite gotten there yet but I still have time to royally freak out.
The support thus far has all been positive and caring and heartfelt. It warms my heart and I truly get why Brené says that vulnerability is key to wholehearted living. (If you don't know who Brené is, go to my last post for her empathy cartoon and a link to more on her).
My last post, I think, was the first post where I didn't mention Adam. Long term readers know Adam is Nasser's brother, who was killed last month. I still think about him every day, but I felt guilty that I didn't when writing my last post. And then there's a part of me that realizes that's ok.
Thank you, all you fine readers out there for following my life with depression. We've all come a long way since my first post.
I'll leave you with a lovely shot of the cherries I picked off our tree this morning. Today it's fight the birds day, when they're the ripest they'll be before we lose them to the animals.
And looking up into the tree yesterday morning.
No comments:
Post a Comment