Thursday, June 2, 2016

you’re singing a song that’s been stuck in your head

Thursday, 06/02/16, 2:23, 4:27pm

I am blogging because Nasser thought it would be good for me. I don't want to blog. I want to drown myself in a Netflix show. But this is more productive for my mind and soul.

I'm still in a bit of a funk of depression today. Not quite in a hole or episode, but teetering. Or maybe sitting in a shallow hole with my feet hanging out but not solid on the ground. It's mild depression with this extra grief bit.

Today my psychiatric appointment was better than I expected. I was feeling anxious about that this morning, and of course a whole bunch of other things. I was anxious to tell my doctor about Adam, I was bringing the boys to my appointment so I was anxious about that.

It was fine. Although having the boys there wasn't easy, probably won't do that next time. But it was fine. Certainly not as emotionally draining as my therapy appointment, but still some.

I've felt very unmotivated lately. Our house is a mess, we still haven't finished unpacking, I haven't wanted to exercise or shower, I haven't wanted to cook, I haven't wanted to "adult". I feel like I should just be able to tap into some will, but I can't. It's like it's not there.

I don't really have more to say today. Will me some motivation, dear readers.

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