Saturday, 03/12/16, 4:47pm
I went outside with the boys this afternoon, them on bikes, me running. We ended up spending some time at the park, where I got some yoga in. Afterward I was sitting around just playing on my new phone (I broke mine yesterday) and just kinda observing around us.
A group of about 10 middle school age girls came to the park from one of the houses in the neighborhood, presumably getting outside to play from a party or something. It was so interesting, and well, heartening to watch. They organized themselves into a game of capture the flag and played on the greenbelt. One girl took the place of leader, explained the rules, and determined the method of dividing into teams. I guess I assumed most kids pick team captains and pick team members, which never turns out great since there's someone always picked last. Instead, she told everyone to pick a partner. When some of the girls asked if they should pick someone they want to be on the same team with, she responded with "doesn't matter". They then played rock, paper, scissors and split the teams based on "winners" and "losers". But having lost didn't really matter in the end. I really liked the leader girl. She was independent, confident, and fair. I hope to raise my boys the same way.
It made me feel a little sad about some playground experiences I've heard from RG. Over a series of conversations I gathered that he doesn't really play football with the other kids during lunch recess. Earlier this year he figured out that he only plays if there are an even number of kids. Presumably these children have team captains (sounds like probably the best players) and pick teams. If there are an odd number of kids wanting to play, RG wouldn't get picked for either team (as in he's the last one there) and therefore doesn't get to play. Sounds kinda crappy, right? It's one of those situations I don't know what to do, and I don't know that anything should be done. I don't want to go and make a big deal out of it to anyone, either teachers or other parents, especially since he was never particularly bothered when explaining all this to me, and yet it hurts my heart a bit. Seems like most playgrounds could benefit from some fair methods of picking teams.
Now I don't want to start any arguments about killing the competitive nature in kids and trying to make everything fair. I get that RG isn't good at football, has trouble throwing with accuracy, but I'm sure he'd get better if his friends allowed him to play. And then again, I'm totally not encouraging football with him. It's definitely not my favorite sport and I have no interest in risking head injuries with my kids. I just wish that picking teams on the playground in 2nd grade wasn't all about picking the best players. Perhaps sometimes it could be about including everyone, just as the older girls did. In that situation, some of the girls were grumbling because they picked their close friend as the partner for rock, paper, scissors, but in the end everyone was happy.
Today is going well. My mother-in-law couldn't get a flight here unfortunately, but we'll hopefully be seeing her pretty soon. In general we've been taking today pretty easy, although we got out of the house for awhile to buy me a new phone and go out for lunch, plus the biking/running/playing at the park time.
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