Saturday, February 20, 2016

that's me in the corner

Saturday, 02/20/16, 8:49am

I'm in a hole this morning. Apparently scheduling too many commitments in one weekend is a recipe for disaster for me. Want (and need) to back off on some but can't seem to figure out how to do that. Not without feeling like a failure. Not without disappointing people. Not without disappointing myself.

I used to be able to handle a lot of commitments. I guess that was before kids. So it makes sense that it's harder now. But why can't I get my act together when there are things scheduled?

I wish I was stronger. I wish I was less sensitive. I wish I could make a plan and stick to it. I wish I didn't have this stupid depression to interfere with success in life.

I don't know what's going to happen today. I don't know if this panic and depression is going to take over or if my day is still salvageable. I am trying. It may seem to others, especially when I cancel things, that I'm not. But I am.

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