Nasser comes home tonight. :) :) :) :)
He is currently on a plane from London to Phoenix; he's been traveling since yesterday evening (our time).
Today is a little more hectic since I'm watching 2 of my nephews. My sister, Vida, and my brother-in-law, Jeff, have to move out of their old house today (they are in the process of building a new home, living at my parents' house in the meantime). Watching the nephews is going pretty well though, really, since all the kids get along well most of the time. I gotta watch for any conflicts, of course, and help switch activities every so often. Trying to avoid screens being all day as well. And of course, it's going well enough really that I am blogging. Not something I could have done if they were all just a few years younger.
I had a friend ask me about mindfulness recently. It felt a little wrong, someone else asking me for advice on something therapy/mindfulness/depression/anxiety related. But those of us who suffer and have learned ways of coping can share with others. Of course that doesn't work if we're suffering in silence. That's one of the things I've really appreciated about the blog. It has opened up communication with friends who suffer and we've started to band together. Of course, it's not really a community of people suffering since I'm the center person who knows everyone else but everyone else doesn't know eachother. It's a community for me since I can talk to everyone else. So I like it. :)
Before I get more in depth about mindfulness, I want everyone to take a deep breath and open your mind a little to the idea of mindfulness. I think mindfulness can get a negative connotation in our society, strictly due to the stigmas around mental illness and therapy (have I mentioned before how much I hate the stigma?? Oh yeah, here, here, and here for just a few examples). It's easy to say mindfulness is part of the foo-fooey, self-help, therapy, hippy culture. It's easy to think, I don't need that crap, I'm not weak, words can't hurt me, I don't care what other people think. But that's the stigma talking. It's not weak to want to better yourself; in fact, that requires you to taking chances, to become vulnerable and put yourself out there. And living life mindfully brings you more present to the moment; it allows you to enjoy the smaller things, the day to day, a little more fully. At least in my humble opinion. For me, mindfulness helps prevent depressive and anxiety episodes. I can also use mindfulness techniques, such as deep, mindful breathing, in the moment and help myself calm down and avoid the "fight or flight" response.
I shared with my friend some of the techniques I use for mindfulness (which I think of as a preventative treatment) and coping mechanisms (which I think of as acute treatment, more like a band aid).
Before I share with all of you, I did want to point out a few websites for those starting from scratch.
Of course, Wikipedia has a great mindfulness page. The Mayo Clinic provides some description of mindfulness, as well as a brief listing of example methods. Nasser recommends Jon Kabat-Zinn, the man who popularized mindfulness in the West (at least according to the Wikipedia page on mindfulness, as referenced above), for some book or video references. In doing a quick "mindfulness exercises" Google search, I came across this website, and liked the look of it. I need to spend more time on it to fully check out their resources. Really you can find an abundance of information on the web for this.
Here are some of the mindfulness exercises I use:
- deep breathing/ yoga breathing (there are more techniques out there if you're a process person, such as breathing to this graphic, Dr Weil has a few methods, and there's plenty more found in a Google search)
- becoming "present". notice the things around you: paint color on the wall, wood grain in the floor, how you're sitting, how your feet are touching the floor; notice the air and smells around you.
- "awaken the senses" (as the Mayo Clinic calls it on their page). pop a mint or even gum. notice the taste and feel on your tongue or the roof of your mouth. take at least 30 seconds to notice everything about the mint- the smells, the tastes, the textures.
- thought record sheet (this one is good)
- coming up with a balanced thought, think about the evidence again the triggering thought (ex. my balanced thought for many of my triggering thoughts, "I'm a good mother, who struggles sometimes."
- imagine a soothing river/brook. pluck each negative/triggering thought out of your head and place it on a leaf that you place in the water. watch as it floats away. ("I'm a bad mother"- pluck that away and watch it float away. "I'm not successful enough"- same thing. "I really messed up"- again.)
- picture a force field surrounding you. when someone says some negative at you, you can choose what you let through the force field and what gets bounced away.
- distraction. sometimes this is the only thing that works and that's ok. for me, watching a favorite show or movie act as great distractions.
- share your experience. explain to someone close to you what you're feeling.
- journal. write about your experience.
I plan to come back to these lists regularly and update as I learn more. I am continually learning more.
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