Friday, September 1, 2017

it's been a long hot summer, let's go undercover, don't try too hard to think... don't think at all

Friday, 09/01/17, 11:30am

Oh boy, yet another drafted post happened a few days ago, with a decent amount written, but just not finished, and my inability to actually finish it. Just leave it, incomplete, to maybe re-read someday as a way to keep a few of the memories of this treatment time. I have a good four of these, over last month, and something with the cognitive/memory side effects of my ECT treatment has been making it impossible for me to finish all my blog posts. It's just... hard. Y'all remember I'm still doing ECT (electro-convulsive therapy)? It's been going on since the end of June.

On the plus side, I'd say that in general, I'm doing significantly better, emotionally speaking, in the past several weeks or more. I'm going 9 days between treatments this time, which is a big deal for me; of course, we'll see how it's going by next Wednesday when the next one's scheduled. I've gotta make it until then since we've got this holiday weekend happening this weekend.

So my last post talked about how I was going to start using a CPAP at night to help my sleep. I started that this past Monday, and so far, it's going decently well. I'm having some sensitivity issues with the face mask and pressure on the bridge of my nose, but I'm going in this afternoon to get it checked out and see if I need a different mask or something. Hopefully it's an easy fix, but we'll see. Nasser thinks that this entire week, I've been getting some significantly better sleep. :) :) :) Like it's already making a difference, which is just awesome. I mean, it makes sense that if I've been getting disruptive sleep for a long time, that that would be affecting my mood and mental state.

I'm excited about this long weekend, maybe especially since we have very little planned. I feel like we kinda need this. There's a decent chance we'll be doing some furniture rearranging in the boys' room this weekend, but other than that I think we don't really have stuff we need to accomplish. We definitely need to give some attention to Buddy the cat, poor guy hasn't gotten much attention the last few weeks since I've been hanging with my parents. See, I still require the 24-7 supervision thing, but Nasser went back to work about 3 weeks ago, so since my parents are retired, they're able to provide that supervision the easiest, most of the time.

But... the more we spread out those ECT treatments, the sooner I'll get to going off the 24-7 supervision requirement. The sooner I'll be able to drive again, all that. I suppose I'm eager for that. It'll make a big difference for a lot of things. It'll make it easier for Nasser and I to handle errands like grocery shopping if one of us can go, whenever, and he can leave me with the kids, by myself. It'll mean I can spend the day by myself, at home, while the boys are at school, and I can do exercise, by myself. I need that. It'll mean I can handle picking up R from after school choir when that starts up in a couple weeks. It'll still mean I need help from someone for the actual treatments when they do come up, but just for that one day. That sounds so much more doable than the 24-7 supervision requirement. We'll get there. I'm sure.

Not sure I really have more to say today, and I do want to get this posted without it ending up a draft that just gets kept forever like the other ones. Love to you all and have a safe holiday weekend~

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