Friday, 12/09/16, 11:33am
I haven't written in over a week, and maybe that hasn't been the best choice, but it's also kinda just been the same old. Partially I don't feel like I have much to update. I still feel like I'm working hard to avoid those breakdowns, and I'm exhausted at the end of the night, every night. Maybe that's a side effect of all the medications.
Tonight and Sunday afternoon are choir concerts. RG and me. He is in one of the children's choirs; I am super proud of him. And I have a solo in these concerts. So kinda exciting. And kinda a big deal, but I haven't really been thinking about it much. Well that's not quite true. I have been practicing a lot, and I randomly burst into my solo to get another run-through. But until typing about it now, I've been avoiding the nerves. Crap, now I'm nervous. At least the Friday night concerts aren't as well attended. So maybe I'll feel more ready for it.
One of the hard things about this time of the year is all the social gatherings and plans and things to do. I'm having a difficult time being "social" right now, being peppy and happy and whatever else that's expected. We have a holiday party to attend tomorrow night, one where many of our favorite people in this area will be in attendance, but I'm finding myself with lots and lots of social anxiety. I missed several parties last weekend due to the hit of a bad day, and I'm already terrified that this weekend will be a repeat.
I'll do what I can. My biggest priority for this weekend is the choir concerts.
PS, y'all, since I think few who read my blog would guess the song on the post title. It's a tough one though. That line is my solo. It's Swahili.
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