Tuesday, 02/21/17, 3:08pm
TMS treatment has officially started. I completed day 2 this morning, and we're not yet to the full intensity of the treatment. Not sure that I'm any more unusual than other patients, but we've still been adjusting the magnet position ever so slightly to try and reduce the twitching in my face. Cuz, you know, that's real fun. Jaw twitches, slight eye twitching (thank goodness that one has been slight- sounds super uncomfortable), cheek and upper lip twitching, and even a weird sensitivity going into a tooth or two. Weird, huh?
So the way it works is I get treatment of 40 magnetic pulses over a period of 4 seconds, and then we wait 26 seconds until the next cycle. Those magnetic pulses translate into a tap at the location on my head. It's tolerable, but not without some pain. Although I should get used to or desensitized to that after some amount of time. But then I've been all worried after today's appointment that we're not at the full intensity yet, and here I am not tolerating the lesser intensity still.
Sigh.
Emotions have been running on a roller-coaster, I mean really for awhile, but especially yesterday and today with the treatment. I can't explain why I find this so scary, when there are so few risks or side effects. But there it is. I've been scared, anxious, depressed, tense, exhausted.
So it's 2 down, 28 to go. That's not so bad, right? Except that it seems every day is going to be intense. Maybe just for a little while, in the beginning. I'll get used to it, I won't be so anxious anymore. And in a couple weeks, if it's working, then I'll be starting to feel better.
I hope.
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