So yeah. Hi.
It's been, well, 4 and a half months since I've written. To be fair I wrote up a big portion of a post in March but then never finished it.
It's a weird feeling at the moment, typing a post. I've come to have no real clue how I feel about my blog anymore. My journey has brought me to feel much better about life lately, more confident, more capable at handling things. I mean I think it has. I tend to not really know how I feel about all that either.
That's strange, right? I'm more confident, but also less confident. But maybe that actually makes a lot of sense? It's all perspective I guess.
I've wondered, do I really want to share much about my emotional being anymore? Maybe not sharing as much is contributing some to feeling better. There is some strong proof for that. I haven't really "done" facebook in quite some time, like over a year. And it feels so healthy for me, and necessary to keep up how I'm doing. Maybe facebook, and to some extent my blog, were allowing me to seek external validation rather than doing it for myself. But I was maybe doing that because I didn't know how to validate myself. It's still really hard; I'm not claiming I'm good at that. But I've improved?
I've been refocusing on some things in my life. I'm focusing on being healthy- doing things for myself that keep me healthy (eating at least a little better, exercising, reading); I started volunteering more at the kids' school; I started doing lots of yardwork which feels productive, healthy, and satisfying; I'm paying more attention to my emotions and working on recognizing when things are slipping; since January, I started up with again and have finally (again) stuck with my choir; I'm starting to slightly think about the idea of looking for a job, or just fixing up that resume, with the strong feelings of no, I'm not ready and no, I'm not sure I want to, eh. I still get stressed plenty with the different things I'm doing, especially like with our crazy house remodel stuff this spring (all fixes and upgrades from our stupid leak/flood situation back in October).
Speaking of the house stuff... we are finally... complete. Like as of this morning (now yesterday, since I didn't finish this post yesterday, hah) when our painter was doing a couple last touch-ups on some things. We went through full master bathroom remodel which included knocking out a couple walls, new floor with a heating element underneath, custom built vanity and linen closet, fancy (we think) tile and finishes, huge nice tub. Hah. It's nice. Oh and new paint. And that's just the bathroom. The study which was destroyed had a few drywall patch ups, rewiring/etc for recessed lighting and ceiling fan, new paint, and new hickory flooring. That same hickory flooring also replaced the carpet on the stairs and through the entire upstairs (minus the bathrooms, one of which still needs a remodel). New baseboards in all those places and new paint in master bedroom, both kids rooms, and all those closets. It's a lot. And, well, expensive. Good thing insurance helped a teeny bit (in the overall scheme of things) and good thing we were able to sell some stock this spring. Here's a few before and after shots.
changed to:
study (new floor, new paint, new desks):
master and TK's room (ours is the more muted blue; new floor and paint in both):
RG's new room, was guest room (new floor and fancy new paint design) (he's excited):
We still have lots and lots of "moving back into" our house. So much stuff taken out of the study and upstairs bedrooms and closets. But we're trying to put things back mindfully, with only the things we actually care to keep. There's a lot to donate, but we still need to figure all that out.
Since I'm on a photo kick, here's a few more from the past few months. I did end up doing my half marathon in February (got all messed up bc my flight got cancelled which led to my whole trip getting cancelled, but I found a race locally instead). I'm also including pi day pie celebrations, boys making Chicago style pizza, RG's "guitar cafe" from a few weeks of learning guitar in music, skiing over spring break, field trip I volunteered for with TK's class, TK lost those front teeth, RG's 5th grade graduation, some running shots of the Bolder Boulder 10k (which our family ALL DID) (also includes some cousins and others we met up with at the end).
Like I said, photo kick.
The other thing to mention briefly is we are going on a big trip, real soon. On Tuesday the 18th we all fly to Chicago. We leave the boys with Nasser's mom for "Grandma camp extended", and Nasser and I fly to London (!). We take the train to Amsterdam to stay for 2 nights before meeting up with my choir for a week long Netherlands river cruise (!). We have 3 concerts along the way. :) Then we have ~10 days to figure out beyond that before we fly back to Chicago via London again. Heehee. I'm excited, nervous, and a bit anxious about the fact that we don't have all the details figured out. I'd like to at least have lodging decided beforehand. Planning the exact things to see in whatever locations isn't as big a deal to me. But yeah. It's pretty cool.
I think I'm going to publish this post before it becomes another draft that never gets completed. Until next time, which will be who knows when! ~~~~
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