Wednesday, 07/05/17, 6:57am
Hi blog. I still haven't taken a blog post to tell you about Alaska, although I did a draft summary for myself since I'm worried about forgetting things from the trip. Cuz, yeah, the short term memory loss thing is, well, real. I think I didn't really believe that it would happen to me, then I was getting offended by jokes about it, and now I just realize that it's real. There have been a few occurrences over the last couple weeks I've simply forgotten- phone calls, conversations, things we've done. It's... weird, to say the least.
In general, recovery from the treatments (remember I'm doing ECT- electroconvulsive therapy) has improved from that very first day. So far, I think that very first seizure has been my longest at 145 seconds. I've had 6 now. We're still in the acute phase, going in 3x a week, but the office was closed on Monday due to the holiday, so this week, it's only twice. There's totally a routine every time now. I have to fast overnight beforehand, and I'm allowed clear liquids until 2 hours before. So depending on appointment time, I have my big tea with enough time to spare.
Then, once I'm done with that, I get in my shower and do whatever else to distract myself from eating and drinking. We go in, my assigned nurse for the day takes me back to the prep room where I get assigned a hospital bed. There's room for 3 or 4 beds in this area. They give me a couple meds beforehand, sometimes the nurse starts my IV (I can point on my arms to several of the different locations that's been), and I get wheeled into the treatment room when it's my time. Because yeah, they just wheel people in and out of the treatment room where the doctors hang out. Both doctors are psychiatrists, one is also an anesthesiologist. The anesthesiologist listens to me take a few deep breaths then finishes the IV. He administers a muscle relaxant first, which feels weird around the eyes, so I usually close them by that point. The doctor warns me that I'll feel a burning sensation at the IV site when he's administering the sleeping meds and then I'm out. I'm unaware of anything until I'm back in the prep/recovery room, usually not until I'm in a chair rather than a bed at that point. I guess the waking up stuff takes long enough that I'm not aware of moving from the bed. They're usually giving me ginger-ale at that point, and eventually they wheel me downstairs where Nasser will be waiting for me with the car.
Ever since the second treatment, we've been smart enough to bring a protein shake in the car for me to have on the way home. I'm usually, like, barely conscious for the car ride home, but enough so to down the protein drink. We get home, and I immediately go to bed for a little while.
I eat more real food when I wake up again. Sometimes take the strong pain meds that Nasser is in charge of.
We had a check-in appointment with the doctor last Thursday. I haven't really been improving so far, so we decided to switch to bilateral treatments (that's where they put 2 electrodes on my head instead of just 1), although this can cause more of the cognitive side effects. We also decided to add another med, an anti-psychotic I've been on before to act as a booster for the anti-depressant.
One really annoying side effect has been, um, well, constipation. I guess this is somewhat common, but it's probably due more to inactivity than directly caused by the meds they're giving me. Unfortunately this weekend, I got hit pretty hard with the opposite effect which was rather unfortunate because we were attempting to camp this weekend. Sigh. We decided a little ahead of time not to head up to the campsite until Saturday since I had that first bilateral treatment on Friday and we weren't packed up to go. It was fine that my stomach wasn't cooperating with the camping idea anyway because Nasser ended up taking RG to urgent care Sunday morning because of what ended up being ear infections in both ears. We ended up heading home Sunday afternoon so that he could recover a little before the boys had a flight with Nasser's mom to Chicago on Monday afternoon. They're doing "Grandma Camp" this week and she brings them back next Sunday. She takes the boys for a week every summer, but this is the first year she's handling both of their flights.
Sigh. I really hope I start improving soon here. I don't want to keep up the acute phase for too much longer, and I'm starting to get a little worried that it just won't do anything for me. Nasser is planning to start work up again this week... he'll be working from home 2 days a week, but only once this week due to the holiday. Really, it's a good thing that he'll be doing this, because this allows him to take the 6 weeks allowable leave and extend it to more like 8 weeks.
I'm very lucky, for most especially Nasser, but for everyone supporting us right now. I know that I'm incredibly lucky, but that doesn't just make me "not depressed" or something, unfortunately there isn't this direct correlation. It's frustrating, to me more than anyone, that it doesn't work that way. I just have to allow it to happen the way it will, I guess. We hope, continually, we hope.
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