I have book club this coming Wednesday, and I've been quite lax in starting to read this book. We're reading Daring Greatly, by Brené Brown.
I guess this book belongs in the "self-help" category, which tends to scare me. I usually feel that a self-help book is typically written for the general public, but I tend to think that I need special self-help because of my depression. Things don't work the same for me as they do for other people. I think this fear that this book will make my depression worse has made me afraid to open it. And maybe I'm here blogging because I'm still afraid of that. I had a similar feeling about a really good book I read (most of) earlier this fall, Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar, by Cheryl Strayed. That one I've had trouble reading it logistically since I've been getting it from the library, both in paper and electronically, and I also avoid reading it because it's emotionally "heavy" as I call it. I should really just buy it like I finally did with Daring Greatly.
I haven't read much yet of Brené Brown's book, but I've read the Introduction and watched both of her TED talks (watch this one first, then this one) so far. Her TED talks were so inspiring and emotional for me, because her biggest message so far, I take to heart very deeply. The tag line on the book reads "How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead". I highly recommend watching her TED talks, especially that first one.
What I've already discovered and what made me reflect strongly on my life the last 6 months or so, I believe I've been finding myself (part of the reason I quit my job in August) and have found on my own that vulnerability, opening yourself up to others, exactly what I've been doing here in my blog, is the key to living life "whole-heartedly" as Brené puts it. The other thing I already love about her, this idea of how important vulnerability is, is based on years of research, thousands of stories. I'm a data gal, so that also speaks to me.
What I've already discovered and what made me reflect strongly on my life the last 6 months or so, I believe I've been finding myself (part of the reason I quit my job in August) and have found on my own that vulnerability, opening yourself up to others, exactly what I've been doing here in my blog, is the key to living life "whole-heartedly" as Brené puts it. The other thing I already love about her, this idea of how important vulnerability is, is based on years of research, thousands of stories. I'm a data gal, so that also speaks to me.
Anyway, it got me thinking a lot about my blog. This amazing therapy the blog provides for me is based on me being vulnerable to others. That's exactly what I've been doing, it's been liberating, and many of those I've shared with have responded. Friends and family appreciate me sharing my experiences and struggles with them, but then those who suffer themselves from depression or anxiety have shared with me in turn. I feel so honored that friends have told me about their own struggles and their own shame around it. I wish I could take away all their sufferings, but my blog validates their own struggles and gives them a reminder that they don't suffer alone. What a strong and supportive conclusion to come to after two people have become vulnerable in their relationship with eachother. My blog is bringing me closer to those around me. Brené Brown talks about the concept of vulnerability being "exquisite" rather than "excruciating". My blog has most definitely taught me that.
It is exquisite to be vulnerable to others and allow them to love and support you in turn.
I suppose I should quit procrastinating and start reading. I expect that this book will inspire several more blog posts, and I'm excited to talk about it at book club. I don't think I can talk about this book without telling my book club about my depression and my own vulnerability with my blog. It might be emotional and might trigger a bit of depression, but. I'm going to prepare myself for that possibility, and keep doing fabulous things for myself that help me there.
Speaking of which, I went for a run today. It was good but I wore a non-breathable jacket. It's a cycling jacket and I wasn't thinking. Of course you want non-breathable when you're cycling in the cold and wind, but that's not what you want for a day like today, like 40deg F and sunny. Ah, I love Colorado. But thinking about my friends on the east coast getting snowed in. I had some fun with taking pictures, while running. :)
Ok, really it's time to stop procrastinating. I have a lot to read before book club in 3 days. Yikes.
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